Does Donald Trump believe in evolution?

By @TakeThatScience






Note: This is satirical and is not meant to be taken seriously.
Donald Trump has declared his presidential candidacy. He has given many interviews but the topic of evolution hasn’t come up yet. A Google search doesn’t reveal any insights into Trump’s opinions about evolutionary biology either. So I went straight to the man himself and asked him: Do you believe in evolution? Here is his response:
Trump: “You know, I don’t really believe in that stuff. Man coming from monkeys and apes? I don’t think so. We are much more advanced than animals. We are smarter by far. Could a monkey write ‘The Art of the Deal’? Could a monkey oversee the development of the most luxurious golf courses in the world? Could an animal produce ‘The Apprentice’, one of the most successful television shows in history? Hell no!”

“Show me a monkey navigating the New York real estate scene. Show me a gorilla that is a self-made multi-billionaire. I don’t think you can. So you liberals can believe in evolution. You can trust the scientists. The same scientists, by the way, that push global warming even as New York gets colder and colder every winter. It’s absurd.”

“I’m sure the media will take these quotes and run with them as they always do. It really is pathetic. But the American people agree with me about evolution and many other issues including immigration, jobs, ISIS, and so on. The poll numbers show that. The people love Trump. Make America great again!”

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9 thoughts on “Does Donald Trump believe in evolution?

  1. Johnny Aandelen August 29, 2015 / 12:31 am

    This guy knows how to promote himself very well. But hey you don´t get a billionaire by wasting time. I dont believe in what he say, not in anything, but he is good at what he does. No one can deny that.

    Like

    • Donald Bell July 28, 2016 / 1:36 am

      Could a monkey write “The Art of the Deal.” Apparently so.

      Like

  2. John November 14, 2015 / 5:27 am

    Is this real or is it an “onion” style article?

    Like

  3. Brian Kich December 15, 2015 / 4:03 am

    I had a friend who doesn’t believe in science because he’s a republican born and raised 😂. (He was my best friend my entire life, but I recently realized he’s a psychopath and I hope I never see him again)

    Like

  4. jonimuc February 2, 2016 / 7:55 am

    By comparing mankind to apes, Trump just proves that he even does not understand what evolution means.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. James gray February 8, 2016 / 6:29 am

    Dear MR.Trump: Could you tell me what you think about family values. Could you give me your positions on gay marriage and homosexuals?? This truly means a lot. I believe in a godly relationship between a man and a women.

    Like

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